Everyone Hates Loneliness??!!
The feeling of loneliness for me is a feeling that is really confusing and sometimes even scares me because when that feeling comes, negative thoughts suddenly come, so suddenly insecure, burnout, and even feel useless. Intrusive thoughts.
That feeling comes sometimes when I feel like there’s no one I want to talk to, just telling about my daily life, things I like and don’t like, even things that make me confused and want to discuss with other people. But, to talk about our feelings or our lives, we have a trust issues with anyone, and sometimes because we are afraid of the response of the person we want to talk to. Afraid because they think I complain a lot, afraid of the response they feel my problem is nothing when compared to their problems, and even afraid when the other person doesn’t give the slightest interest in our story. I have felt rejections like that before and it was very annoying, painful, and even made me stressed and closed myself off.
My friend said, when we grow up, it seems we have to have the skill ‘to feel okay to be alone because as we get older, our circle of friends gets smaller. Friends who were always with us started to look for their own identity and began to have priorities for the success of their life, work, family, etc. So we get bored with the emptiness and end up feeling lonely. You have no choice but to suck it up and just deal with the loneliness.
Sometimes when I admit the fact that I’m feeling alone and lonely it makes me sad and very ashamed because I feel ‘am I really friendless?’ and not a few people also tell me to look for ‘A friend’, but I don’t think that’s the right solution because it’s like I’m not responsible for my own feelings. Or could they be right?!!! Do we deal with loneliness by finding new people, or do we deal with it by trying to find peace with ourselves??!!!
I also often ask why adults never said these things before. the strange feelings we will experience when we grow up, or the bad things that will happen when we grow up? But, why would I blame the adults anyway? Don’t I hate spoilers? Maybe this is a process towards maturity, a process of finding identity, knowing yourself, and searching for your own answers, maybe, maybe and other possibilities to make myself more aware of flavors that I have never tasted. Isn’t that an exhilarating and tense experience? Keep embracing all those feelings, cause you have to embrace the feeling first in order to get throught it, if we deny we will not heal.
HELP ME!!!
